Jesus’ Friend (John 15:9-17, 1 John 5:1-6, Psalm 98) May 5th, 2024
An English teacher asked her class one day to write imaginative definitions of a friend. One student said, “A friend is a pair of open arms in a society of armless people.” Another said, “A friend is a warm bedroll on a cold and frosty night.” Others said: “A friend is a lively polka in the midst of a dreary musical concert.” (What? No rock ‘n’ roll?) “A friend is a mug of hot coffee on a damp, cloudy day.” “A friend is a beautiful orchard in the middle of the desert.” “A friend is a stiff drink when you’ve just had a terrible shock.” (How does a middle schooler know that?) “A friend is a hot bath after you have walked 20 miles on a dusty road.”
Lovely thoughts. Mark Twain said, “The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime if not asked to lend money!” Friendship… Friendship is clearly a wonderful thing. But it’s also a rare thing.
A friend once shared an email with me some disturbing information about making friends: 60% of men over 30 cannot identify a single person they would call a close friend. Of the 40% who list friends, most were made during childhood or school years. Most women can identify 5 or 6 women whom they call close friends. A closer look shows that a lot of these were functional relationships for a long time. Friendship is not easy to develop.
My sermon is about friends and friendship. If it has never occurred to you before, note that Christians were called “friends” before they were called Christians. That’s right. The New Testament says, “it was in Antioch that the disciples were first called ‘Christians'” — long after the death of Jesus and the dispersion of his disciples in the early days of the church. But Jesus himself said to the disciples, “I have called you friends.” Think about that. Let it sink in. “I have called you friends.” Before anything else. “I have called you friends.”
Another theme we hear a lot is – love. “As the Father has LOVED me, so I have LOVED you; abide in my LOVE. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my LOVE, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his LOVE…This is my commandment, that you LOVE one another as I have LOVED you.” On and on it goes. Love, Love, Love!
Please note: the love about which Jesus speaks is not the romantic, mushy-gushy phenomenon that our generation thinks of when we hear the term. No one, not even Jesus, can “command” that sort of emotion – that just happens. More accurately, the love of which the Lord speaks is a characteristic, not of what sweethearts have, but of what genuinely good friends enjoy. This love, love, is an act of the will.
What are some of the characteristics of a good friendship? Think of a few. Friends care about each other’s welfare. That makes sense. If you are my friend, I want the best for you. I want people to think well of you. I want no harm to come to you. In fact, deep friendships are often forged in the midst of common suffering. Soldiers returning from the battlefield will always speak angrily of the ugliness of war and yet, in the same breath, they will talk with warmth about the friends that they made. I can guarantee you that, as you and I are here today, deep friendships are being formed between the people that were in the tornados last week. People, who were initially perfect strangers, having passed together through a terrible storm, an earthquake, or some other natural disaster, will suddenly feel themselves to be the closest of friends and years later will sit and reminisce about their shared experiences.
Speaking of sharing, that is something else friends do. Material things, of course. Even money, despite Mark Twain’s humorous thoughts. And more important, friends share what is inside. C. S. Lewis says, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.”
What else makes for friendship? According to Jesus, expectations are involved. “You are my friends if you do what I command you…And I appointed you to go and bear fruit…” Have you ever been let down by a friend? Probably. Has your disappointment at being let down – or the other person’s disappointment at being let down by you – ever strained or even broken the relationship? Happens all the time, doesn’t it? Friendships are sustained when friends keep up their end of the bargain.
Friendship often requires sacrifice of some sort, and, in some rare cases, even the supreme sacrifice. “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
Have you ever had a friend like that? At least one that I know of. It was on a hill called Calvary, outside the city wall, and overlooking the town dump. It was there that your friend and my friend died that we might live. “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
How do you get to be Jesus’ friend? Jesus told us: “You are my friends if you do what I command you.” But even as simple a statement as that could lead some to misunderstand if we take it out of context. Friendship with Jesus is not simply about following some rules, as that sentence might lead us to believe. Remember what the command IS: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” In other words, if you want to be my friend, be a friend to my other friends. That sounds so simple. But we know it is not.
For whatever it is worth, we have not come upon this relationship with Jesus by accident. As Jesus reminded the twelve in that Upper Room, “You did not choose me but I chose you.”
I wonder if anyone here can relate to my next example. This use to happen to me in gym class when I was in junior high.
I was not a person that enjoyed participating in sports. So, the teacher would choose two people to be captains, and each one had to pick the rest of us to be on their team. Guess who always got picked last? ME
So, one time a friend of mine got picked as a captain. I was really hoping not to get picked last. I wasn’t last, but she did pick me!
Friendship. Recalling those definitions with which we began all this, we can add Charlie Brown’s insight – standing all alone, Charlie says, “A friend is someone who sticks up for you when you are not there.” That’s a bit like a eulogy. Yesterday I attended the funeral service for Kenny Maupin. The two sons got up and talked about their father and all of his accomplishments. Then Pastor Candie talked about a bunch of messages she read on the funeral home sight. She said many of them said, “What a great teacher he was”, one student said, “I took drafting class with him and years later I became an architect.”, and Pastor Candie said, “What a great legacy!”
Then, for some reason, I thought about my own funeral service, and wondered what people would say about me. I hope it won’t be soon, but I would be more than content if, when the time comes, I am remembered as JESUS’ FRIEND.
How about you? Amen
